"Somebody saved me, it happened again
Somebody saved me, I thank you my friend"
"I don't know about guardian angels
All I know abouts staying alive"
Lyrics to Somebody Saved Me - by Pete Townshend
There are moments is your life that are profound, ones that change you forever and help you heal very dark places in your soul. I had one of those moments this weekend, and by the grace of God and the love of a dear blessed friend the deepest, darkest pain of my life was lanced from my being by a few simple words.
I am humbled, again.
It was so simple, and so loving an act I'm not sure I can ever thank him enough. He has the biggest heart I have ever known and he and I are twin souls I truly believe. We read each others minds, know when things are going badly for the other and we have a deep, abiding love for each other that I know nothing will ever break.
He is the kind of friend most people never have. He is kind to a fault and I know if he could reach in and pull all the pain out of me - he would do it. This weekend he did just that - he pulled out the pain of my childhood abuse with one sentence. One thought, a few simple words. He allowed himself to be used to help me heal. How could I ever ask for more? How could I ever tell anyone how it felt? How do I ever repay him?
When he said it - I went into shock - I think. I couldn't hear anything but his voice, the rest of the world went dark. I was stunned into silence, then as usual, the tears came. I know he was confused - so was I. But before I left he looked me in the eyes, and in a very soft, sweet, tender voice said, "I love you." For the first time in all the years I have known him and all the times we have said, "I love you", I felt how deeply he loves me.
And again I was humbled.
Later that night, I figured out why what he said affected me so. I had - had a genuine flashback to some of the abuse I suffered as a child. And at the moment I realized what had happened, I believe that scar was healed. I had been given a gift by my dear friend. A gift no one else could give me.
Today, I am still a bit overwhelmed by it all. I'm not sure I will ever really understand what happened but I'm glad it did and I'm glad it was him.
My life is different today. In a split second you changed my life. I am blessed to have you in my life. I love you with all my heart. :)
Thank you, Paulie.
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